Can My Life Get Any Weirder!
by belgin tei
Summary: Woke up married challenge from tth.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Can My Life Get Any Weirder! 1/?

Author: David A. Knapton

E-mail: If you want but it is polite to let the author know you are doing so

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to the owners of BtVS and Gilmore Girls.

Spoiler: Both shows up to and including season five of Buffy and four of GG.

Rating: 12A/PG-13.

Pairing: Canon pairings for both shows except for the 'woke up married' couple, (Only one of whom you find out the name of in part 1.) and Buffy still being with Riley (at least at the beginning).

Summery: A lot of AU in this story as follows:

Buffy: One, No Dawn. Two, Buffy seasons have been moved so season five runs parallel to season four of GG. Three, Joyce did not die; she recovered fully from her operation. Four, Buffy has not broken up with Riley. Season five was different in that Buffy did not die and was able to defeat Glory without the monks ever sending the Key to her.

Gilmore Girls: After Rory left with Emily for Europe and with all the headaches associated with opening the Dragonfly, and with much prompting from Sookie and Michel, Lorelai took a trip to Boston to see Christopher.

Notes: I have been reading many of the woke up married stories posted on TTH and have decided to throw my hat in as well, so this is my response to Jinni's 'When I Woke Up' challenge. This pairing has been in my head for a while now but I could not think of a story to get them together... before now.

Thanks so much to my great beta Tamara.

'' Thought.

Feedback: If you wish.

Please note I am English, so is my spelling. Live with it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her head hurt, she imagined that it would not hurt more if an axe were embedded in it! She slowly raised her head above the covers. Squinting her eyes at the light coming in from the window, she looked around the room. 'This doesn't look like my hotel room!'

Not having bothered to phone and check if Christopher would be at home, she had found out from one of his neighbours that he had taken GiGi to visit Sherry's parents in Florida. Knowing that Sookie would be mad at her if she returned to town after only half a day. On a whim, she had driven north along the coast, eventually winding up in the town of Gloucester some twenty-five miles from Boston.

Lorelai turned onto her back putting her forearm across her eyes, "God, what did I drink last night?" she moaned. She suddenly froze as she heard a muffled moan coming from her left. Lifting her arm away from her face, she slowly looked over, only to find a body sized lump under the covers on the opposite side of the king-sized bed. "Oh god what have I done?" she cried as she slowly eased out of the bed so as not to wake her bedmate!

As she was getting out, she realised that she was naked. "Well there goes my hope that this was something platonic." Lorelai looked around, spying a complementary robe over the nearby chair. She quickly retrieved it and put it on. Never once taking her eyes off the still sleeping form.

Glancing around at the discarded clothing around the room, spying her panties hanging from the small chandelier, "Well whoever you are, we sure had a wild time!" she chuckled. As she continued looking around and retrieved some of her scattered clothes, she noticed a piece of paper. Curious, she picked it up. She scanned it quickly, blinked then re-read it more slowly. She dropped un-ceremonially into the chair, the paper sliding back to the floor. "Rory is going to kill me!" she cried as she looked at the bed again when she saw her wife beginning to sit up.

A/N: Any guesses who the wife is.


	2. Chapter 2

2/?

Summery: Lorelai's life just got a whole lot weirder.

-------------------

She groaned, her cloudy mind trying to remember the last time her head felt this bad. 'Ugh my head never felt this bad even with the headaches caused by the brain tumour! Oh right, my college graduation night when I got smashed.' She thought triumphantly. 'God what did I drink last night?'

'Oh god someone's in my bed!' Joyce groaned as she felt the bed move as someone got out. 'Just great Joyce. Now what?' She remained as still as possible as she strained her ears to try to get an idea of who the person may be!

"Well there goes my hope that this was something platonic."

Joyce's eyes went wide as she realised that the other person was female, "Oh god," she groaned before choking it back when she realised that the other woman may hear. She remained quiet again as she continued to listen, hearing the patter of bare feet on the carpet.

Joyce's face began to burn as she heard the other woman give a laugh and say, "Well whoever you are, we sure had a wild time!"

'What's she doing?' Joyce asked herself. 'Maybe she's leaving! Well if she is I'll just wait until she does then get the hell outta Dodge.'

Joyce heard the woman sit rather heavily into a chair because she distinctly heard it creak. 'Joyce, you have to face this. Buffy just faced down a god. This can't be as bad as that!'

As she began to sit up, she heard the other woman cry out, "Rory is going to kill me!"

'Well maybe not,' sighed Joyce as she sat up looking at the attractive thirty-something brunette with shock on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

3/?

Summery: Getting to know your wife.

----------------

The two women sat looking at each other. The silence stretched out for several minutes as neither occupant of the room was sure what to say.

Eventually Joyce cleared her throat, "Hmm we ah had wild sex last night?" she blushed as she realised what she had just said, "Oh god that sounds rather vulgar. Sorry, that wasn't really the best way to start what is obviously going to be a very awkward conversation!"

Lorelai laughed breaking some of the tension, "You heard that huh," Joyce nodded. "It's probably as apt a description as any considering our clothes ended up in some weird places," she pointed to her panties still hanging from the light fitting and what was obviously Joyce's draped over the top of an empty bottle of champagne. "I'm Lorelai by the way."

"Oh, sorry. I'm Joyce, Joyce Summers."

Lorelai could not help the mischief coming to her eyes as she shook her head. "No you're not!"

"Yes I am. I may not remember anything that happened after entering the Seaview Bar, but I remember my name. I've been Joyce Summers for the last twenty-one years and before that I was Joyce Lynn," stated Joyce a little catch in her voice.

"Sorry Joyce, you have no idea how much I'm sorry. But you're no longer Joyce Summers," sighed Lorelai as she scooped up the paper from the floor again and walked over to squat on the side of the bed next to the other woman. "You don't have any heart problems do you? I don't want to have to take you to the hospital or anything. I have this thing about not liking to see my family members in pain..."

Joyce could not help laughing at Lorelai. "I never thought I'd meet someone that could rival my daughter's best friend in babbling. And no, I don't have any heart problems, although I've just had a tumour removed from my brain, but my doctor's given me a clean bill of health."

"Well that's good..." mused Lorelai losing her train of thought as she studied the blonde before her. She looked to be several years older than herself, maybe as much as ten years older! However, she still had a mature beauty, 'She must have been drop-dead gorgeous when she was younger? At least I have taste, even when I'm totally smashed!'

"So why the concern about my health?" asked Joyce curiously.

"Well, I wanted to be sure before I showed you this," Lorelai explained as she handed the piece of paper to Joyce.

Joyce took the piece of paper with trepidation, looking into Lorelai's eyes trying to discern why she was so sorry! She glanced down at the paper, her eyes going wide as she realised that it was a marriage certificate. Joyce skimmed over the document until she found the names, going a little pale, "Oh my god!" she exclaimed looking back to her 'wife'.

"So Mrs Joyce Gilmore, what do we do about this?" smiled Lorelai smugly.

Although Joyce was still somewhat in shock, she still had enough control of her faculties to realise what Lorelai had just asked. "Why are you assuming that our name should be Gilmore, Mrs Lorelai Summers," she smirked back.

"Well because Gilmore sounds so much more dignified," replied Lorelai her eyes twinkling with the absurdity of the conversation. They both knew they were trying to put off the more serious part of the topic.

"I disagree," Joyce shook her head. "Summers has as much dignity about it as Gilmore. Besides Summers has that warm sounding image, where as Gilmore is just... I don't know! Weird."

"Are you saying my name sounds weird," Lorelai asked in anger, but her eyes still twinkled with mirth.

"I thought we were still talking about which name we were going to use? Because if we go for Summers, you won't be Lorelai Gilmore, will you?" laughed Joyce before becoming serious. "What are we going to do?"

"Well we could always go with Summers-Gilmore or Gilmore-Summers! Although Gilmore-Summers sounds kind of seasonal. Like 'oh isn't this just like that last Gilmore summer'." Lorelai shook her head, "No it would have to be Summers-Gilmore if we went for a double last name."

Joyce gave a real belly laugh, unable to say anything for several minutes. When she finally did, she wiped her tear-filled eyes looking at Lorelai, "God that was good. I haven't laughed like that since before the doctors discovered my brain tumour. Thank you. Somehow, I don't think I should ever introduce you to Willow," she giggled lightly before once more, turning serious. "No I meant, what are we going to do about this?" She held up their Marriage certificate.

"Oh!" Lorelai blushed looking down at her lap. "I guess we try and get it annulled!"

"So you're not gay or anything?"

Lorelai looked up curiosity in her eyes, "Well until this... No. But I guess I must be at least a little gay if we tied the knot and had wild sex last night. How about you?"

"I guess I must be the same. I did do the whole experimenting thing in college, but that was before I got married... the first time."

"Oh I knew there was something else I missed out on, not going to college! I must check with Rory, see if there's been any of that with her!"

"Rory?" frowned Joyce.

"My daughter. She goes to Yale. She's travelling around Europe with her grandmother at the moment. God knows how I'm going to explain all this to them!"

"I don't know how I'm going to explain this to my daughter, Buffy either! She's attending UC Sunnydale. This year's been really hard on her, what with my illness on top of college," sighed Joyce. She looked speculatively at the younger woman, "I don't mean to be rude, and it's not a pick-up line. But you don't look old enough to have a daughter in college."

"Hey we were both obviously very intimate last night. So pick-up lines would be pointless now," giggled Lorelai. "I got pregnant with Rory when I was sixteen. Hence the no college thing for Lorelai," she smiled, although Joyce caught the little catch in her voice.

"I'm sorry. You really wanted to go to college, didn't you?" Joyce said softly as she took Lorelai's hand into hers.

"Yeah," said Lorelai as Joyce held her hand. "I mean I've always loved Rory, she's been my reason for getting up in the morning for the last nineteen years. All I've ever wanted is to make sure she had a happy home where she felt free to express herself. My own childhood was so hard... There was no love there, not really... But yeah, I'd have loved to go to college," she sniffed.

"I'm sorry," Joyce said again. She looked curiously at Lorelai for a moment, "You're not related to Richard and Emily Gilmore are you?"

Lorelai looked at her wife, "Ah yeah, they're my parents. You know them?"

"Only in passing. They were friends with my late mother and father. And I sold Emily some artwork a couple of years ago. I own a gallery back home," clarified Joyce.

Now it was Lorelai's turn to frown as she remembered something Joyce had said earlier. "You said your name use to be Lynn. My daughter went to school with a girl called Madeline Lynn, any relation?"

Joyce laughed, "This is so weird! Yes, Madeline's my niece."

"Hey, how about we finish this conversation over breakfast?" asked Lorelai. "It seems we have a lot to talk over and it's gotta be better on a full stomach!"

"Are you sure you want to go out there," Joyce asked releasing Lorelai's hand, having not realised she still held it, to wave at the door. "This looks like the honeymoon suite. Are you sure you want to endure the comments and looks?"

"Hey, what we did may not be the norm but it's not illegal, we're both consenting adults and I've never been what most people would call conventionally minded," smirked Lorelai. "And anyway if things go wrong I'll just tell them you plied me with drink before forcing me to marry you," she laughed getting up and walking over to retrieve her underwear.

"And how do you know you didn't ply me with drink and force me to marry you," chuckled Joyce climbing out of the bed and joining Lorelai in gathering their scattered clothes.

"Well you're the one with all the lesbian experience remember!" Lorelai pointed out as she pulled a chair over so she could reach her panties from the light fitting. She looked them over realising they were no longer wearable, she held them up for her wife to see, "And look it looks like you used your teeth to pull my panties off."

Joyce blushed deeply as she looked at Lorelai still standing on the chair holding up the said item, "And how exactly do you know I used my teeth?" she asked curiously.

"'Cause that's what I would have done," Lorelai laughed.

"Well I guess you'll hafta go without," smirked Joyce.

"Ohh you wish," replied Lorelai climbing down and pulling several drawers open before holding a pair of panties up in triumph.

"Oh well a girl can dream," Joyce declared a twinkle in her eye.

Lorelai stuck her tongue out as she quickly gathered her clothes together and headed for the bathroom.

After they had both taken a quick shower, separately, the two newlyweds felt ready to face the world, or at least a hotel full of guests! Both stood at the door staring at it. Joyce looked at her wife, "So..."

"So..."

"Are we going out there?" asked Joyce the nervousness in her voice.

"Hey how bad could it be?" mused Lorelai as they continued standing in front of the door.

"Let's order room service," suggested Joyce.

"Okay," agreed Lorelai quickly heading over to the phone.


	4. Chapter 4

4/?

Summery: Decisions.

Reminder: All Buffy seasons have been moved approximately two years ahead. (So just add two to anything you remember).

---------------

Joyce looked on in horror at Lorelai as the other woman sat opposite placing more and more on her plate, "My god, you're not seriously going to eat all that are you?"

"Yeah," frowned Lorelai looking up. "I take it you're not use to seeing anyone eat so much?"

"On the contrary, on occasions, I've had to feed my daughter and her friends. Xander alone could probably eat a whole side of beef."

"Xander. Is he your daughter's boyfriend?"

"No. Although at one time I did think they might get together, well hoped anyway!" sighed Joyce. "He's a nice young man. You know the type every mother hopes her daughter will meet..." she trailed off.

"Not my type then," laughed Lorelai.

"Well I should hope not because you're a married woman," chuckled Joyce. "And anyway I don't think you would like to meet his fiancée, Anya, if she felt threatened."

"Probably not!" smiled Lorelai. They were silent for a few minutes while they ate until Lorelai felt the need to fill the silence, "So tell me something about yourself?"

Joyce mused over the question while she finished chewing some bacon and swallowing it. "Well let's see, I'll be forty two in September. As I said, I have one daughter, Buffy. I married Hank, Buffy's father straight out of college, Berkley to be precise, from where I graduated with honours in Art History. I divorced him in 1999, the same year Buffy and I moved to Sunnydale from LA, mainly because it had the only school willing to take her after some trouble she got into at Hemery. Hmm what else? Oh I travel quite a bit buying artwork for my gallery, well I did up until I was diagnosed with a brain tumour..." she trailed off.

"Oh so pretty vanilla, at least until you met me," smirked Lorelai.

"Well maybe mostly, I did the whole housewife thing while I was married," Joyce smiled good-naturedly before a twinkle came into her eyes, "But I did have sex on the hood of a police car with Mr Giles, my daughter's high school librarian... twice."

Lorelai mirrored the other woman's mischief, "I dated one of Rory's teachers for about eight months before hightailing it out of town with Rory a week before we were to marry." Joyce looked a little shocked. "I know it was bad... very bad, we reconciled later. I don't think he will ever really forgive me! But we were talking the last time I spoke to him. I'm still not sure why I ran, it just seemed like there was something missing, I don't know!" she trailed off.

"Or maybe it was something extra he has that deep down you realised you didn't need or want!" mused Joyce as the mischief returned.

Lorelai sat looking across at the other woman, a confused frown in place until her eyes went wide, "Oh my god! And I thought Miss Patty was bad!"

"Miss Patty?" queried Joyce smirking at the other woman's reaction.

"She's a friend. She runs a dance studio in Stars Hollow. She'll go after anything in pants. You'll like her," explained Lorelai wondering again what people would say when they found out about her marriage!

Joyce arched her eyebrow, "Are you suggesting we stay together?"

"I didn't mean that exactly... I mean we must have felt more than a little something for each other to get a judge to marry us after only knowing each other for a few hours," Lorelai pointed out. "But whatever happens, I think I'd like to get to know the person I married and stay friends with her at least."

"Yes, I think I'd like that," replied Joyce smiling a little shyly.

"So if you don't mind me asking! What was the trouble that caused your daughter's expulsion from school?"

"She was accused of burning down the gym..." 'Which she did.'

"God and I thought Rory had frustrated me by sleeping with her married ex-boyfriend," exclaimed Lorelai. "What happened?"

"Nothing to do with the law. There was the possibility that it could have been faulty wiring, so the school just asked her to leave, fearing that if the investigation did find the school at fault they would be sued!" explained Joyce taking a sip of coffee. "Your daughter slept with a married man, I hope her mother doesn't do that," she smiled trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Well of course I do, I mean I slept with a married person last night," Lorelai laughed off Joyce's frown before sobering. "No, it's a real mess. She and Dean broke up over two years ago over another boy, she was friendly with, although I know there wasn't anything going on between her and Jess at the time. Anyway, Dean got engaged to someone else, they married just before Christmas last year... I knew they were still attracted to each other but never thought Rory would give into those feelings... Anyway, Rory was home for the weekend and I come in the front door and he's just coming out of her bedroom... We had a huge row... I so didn't want my baby's first time to be with a married man... I didn't want her to be that kind of girl..." Lorelai started to cry.

Joyce felt her heart go out to Lorelai, thinking back to the fight she had with Buffy that sent her daughter running off for a summer. Rising quickly she went around to Lorelai and drew her into an awkward hug, letting the younger woman cry into her top.

Later, neither could figure out who began it but one moment Lorelai was crying into Joyce's chest, the next they were kissing and pulling at each others clothing!

--------------

Lorelai lay facing Joyce under the covers, "So here we are again!" she said with a little awkward smile.

"Yes, again... So do you want to try this relationship? Because if we do stay together, we are going to have to make some very hard decisions, not just how our two families are going to react, although for myself, the only one whose opinion I care about is Buffy's. No, we will have to decide if you will move west and we live in Sunnydale or I move east and live in Stars Hollow?"

"Well Rory's the only family whose opinion matters to me, I have been a disappointment to my parents since I got pregnant, so why change their opinions of me now," Lorelai smiled a little sadly, as she absently caressed Joyce's upper arm. "As for moving... It would be really hard for me to give up my Inn, we only just opened it. I'd be letting a lot of people down, including my best friend, Sookie, who's also my business partner..." she trailed off looking away.

Joyce reached out and lifted Lorelai's chin to look into her eyes. "Well I could open a gallery in Stars Hollow I guess, and I suppose if I sold my house, I could pay the rent on an apartment for Buffy to live near the university. She doesn't like living in the dorms and has been dropping hints that she would like to share a place with a couple of friends," she mused, knowing that even if her daughter wanted to transfer to another college, she could not.

"Really?" asked Lorelai, "You'd uproot your life to try and make our relationship work?" her eyes going teary.

Joyce leaned in and kissed the other woman on the lips, "I've done it before, when I married Hank," she said pulling back.

"Okay, we'll try. So do you wanna go out for dinner somewhere?"

Joyce smirked as she moved in closer, cupping Lorelai's breast. "Actually I think I'd like to right here," she murmured before pressing her lips to the other woman's and beginning to trail kisses down towards her wife's breast.


	5. Chapter 5

Summery: The second, first date.

'' Thought.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After another shower, both women got ready to go down and have dinner in the restaurant. Having decided that if they really were going to try to make their relationship work, they should start small by having dinner together.

They walked hand-in-hand into the rather nice hotel restaurant, getting the occasional stare from the other diners, but generally, they were no more or less interesting to the other guests than any other diner. They squeezed each other's hand in reassurance as they were shown to a table.

"So what do you want to drink?" Joyce asked as their waiter handed them two menus.

"Oh a vodka martini, please," replied Lorelai looking up at the waiter.

"Two vodka martinis please," ordered Joyce.

Lorelai watched as the waiter walked away before looking back at her wife, "Did you just order for me?"

Joyce smirked across the table, "Why yes I did," she replied.

"So you think I'm just going to let you make all the decisions?" asked Lorelai a little edge to her tone.

"How about we wrestle over it later," smirked Joyce her eyes dancing.

Lorelai's face broke into a wide smile, "I think this is the start of a beautiful marriage."

"Yes," smiled Joyce opening her menu. "And as far as I'm concerned, this should be a marriage of equals after all neither of us have to put up with a male ego."

Lorelai nodded as she glanced around the dining room, "Well we haven't been tarred and feathered yet, so that's good," she whispered as they each browsed the menu.

"I'm glad because cleaning tar off suede boots is hell," chuckled Joyce.

--------------

As the two sat drinking their after dinner coffee, Lorelai brought up the next problem they faced, where to go next. "Well, Rory will be in Europe for another month, so I guess it would be easier for us to go to Sunnydale and tell your family and friends first."

"Well I'm not so sure about the easier part. But if you're up for coming back with me, we can book the flight for tomorrow morning?"

"Ah that could sort of be a problem! All my money is tied up in my Inn right now," blushed Lorelai.

"I have the money. After all, if this relationship is to get off to the proper start we need to start sharing everything."

"What's mine is yours etc."

"Something like that," chuckled Joyce. "Only I was thinking what's mine is mine and what's yours is also mine."

"Could work for me," smirked Lorelai. "You can have all the bills for the renovation of the Dragonfly Inn."

Joyce pulled out her phone and ordered two tickets for the early morning flight from Boston to Los Angeles. She stood as she put her phone away and offered her hand to her wife, "Come on Mrs Summers. Let's go tell the desk clerk, we are checking out tomorrow morning," laughed Joyce.

"Hey, must I remind you, we haven't decided on a last name yet," Lorelai pointed out joining her wife as they exited the dining room.

"Well I actually like your idea of a double last name," smiled Joyce pulling Lorelai by the hand and heading for the desk.

"Good evening, Mrs and Mrs Summers-Gilmore," greeted the white haired man behind the desk as the two women walked up. "I hope you are both enjoying your stay with us?"

"Well that settles that," chuckled Lorelai glancing at Joyce.

"Yes, very much so. However, we need to catch a flight to LAX tomorrow morning. Can you have our bill ready by five...? Oh and also have someone call us at four thirty?" asked Joyce.

"Of course, Mrs Summers-Gilmore," nodded the man. "Will you be requiring anything else this evening?"

"No thank you. Goodnight," replied Joyce as she turned to leave.

"Goodnight Mrs Summers-Gilmore," smiled the man as he watched the blonde's insistent pull on her wife's hand, "And goodnight to you, Mrs Summers-Gilmore," he winked at the brunette, mischief dancing in his eyes.

"'Night," Lorelai called back unable to stop the giggle escaping her as she allowed her wife to guide her to the stairs.

--------------

As soon as the door closed on the world, Lorelai pinned Joyce to the door, capturing the blonde's lips with her own as her hand slid up to begin caressing her wife's breast.

While their tongues were dancing with each other, Joyce's hands were around the back of Lorelai's neck. She released the straps holding the front of the brunette's dress up before caressing her hand down her wife's bare back to the clasp and zip, which she easily opened and pulled down.

As Lorelai was desperately trying to kick her dress off and move them both to the bed, a phone began playing an extract from Beethoven's 9th symphony. She moaned, 'Mum would be so surprised to hear that I know what that is!' Knowing that it was not her phone, she broke the kiss she was sharing with Joyce, "I don't suppose you would consider not answering it?"

Joyce smiled at Lorelai as she dug her phone from her purse and looked at the caller ID, "Sorry, it's my daughter. If I don't answer, she'll think something has happened." She clicked a button to connect the call, "Buffy, dear. Is everything alright?" she asked turning her back to her wife and stepping away.

"I think I should be asking you that. Mum, why are you breathing so hard?"

'Damn Slayer hearing.' Joyce sighed, "I ah... just had to hunt around for my phone," she lied.

Mischief danced in Lorelai's eyes as she stepped up to Joyce's back and wrapped her arms around the older woman and started gently kissing and sucking at her pulse point, extracting a small groan.

"Mum, who's there with you?" asked Buffy suspicion heavy in her voice.

"I ah don't know what you mean, Buffy. There's no one with me," Joyce tried assuring her daughter as she stifled another groan.

"Huh uh. Mum you know how I never _ever_ want to hear that you're having sex with a man other than dad... Oh god, I just got a visual of you and Giles. Eew, I have to go now and bleach my brain eew," cried Buffy.

"Buffy. I swear to you that I am not having sex with a man. And if it will make you feel better about it, I don't plan on having sex with any man for the foreseeable future," Joyce smirked at Lorelai as she turned in her wife's arms.

"And I'm supposed to believe that, why?"

"Because I'm your mother, dear," smiled Joyce. "Oh dear," she suddenly cried into the phone dramatically as her eyes twinkled.

"What! What's wrong mum," Buffy asked worry in her voice.

"I just remembered that I left my bra in the bar," replied Joyce in a serious tone before bursting into laughter.

"Eew mother."

"Yes dear, I am," chuckled Joyce before becoming serious. "I'm fine, Buffy, really. I've just finished dinner and am planning on going to bed early as I plan on flying home tomorrow. Do you think you could ask Mr Giles to pick us up from Sunnydale airport?"

"Yeah, sure mum... Wait. Us? You are having sex with a man aren't you?" accused Buffy.

"No dear. I'm just bringing someone I have grown very close to over the last couple of days back for a visit."

"Mother," exclaimed Buffy with a little catch in her voice, "What's going on?"

"Something that I am not prepared to discuss with you over the phone. Trust me, Buffy. You will want to hear it face to face. Now dear, it's getting late here and we have an early flight tomorrow."

"Fine. But I won't like him," pouted Buffy.

"Goodnight Buffy. Please tell Mr Giles that I'll phone the Magic Box when I get to LAX."

"Okay, 'night mum, love you," Buffy answered disconnecting and turning to her friends sitting around the living room. "She's fine. She's bringing someone home with her tomorrow."

"That's good," smiled Willow. "So your mum's seeing someone?"

"I don't know!" frowned Buffy as she slipped her phone into her pocket.

"I don't know why you have a problem with your mother having sex. Her body may be growing old and her breasts are beginning to sag, but that's the nature of humans. She has every right to enjoy sex in her remaining years," offered Anya.

"Thanks for those visuals Anya. Will, any chance you could hack into the airline computers and find out about this man, mum is bringing here. Make sure he's at least human? After Ted, I'm not sure I trust her judgment!" said Buffy.

"I guess... If you want!" sighed Willow.

"Buff, your mum knows about demons and things, she didn't when she dated Ted the robot," Xander pointed out.

"I know," sighed Buffy. "But I can't help worrying about her... it's not that long ago, she got the all clear."

"We know," said Xander getting up and placing his hand on the Slayer's shoulder. "But your mum's smart, she'll be okay. So, we going to the Bronze?"

"Yeah. We'll make a quick sweep of the cemeteries on the way. I feel like hurting something," replied Buffy leading the way out the door.

"She seems to be taking the idea of her mum's boyfriend better than I thought," chuckled Xander as they all followed.

--------------

Joyce disconnected the call and looked into her wife's mirth filled eyes, "That was evil," she declared.

"But fun," smirked Lorelai. "But let me make it up to you," she said slipping the spaghetti shoulder straps down the blonde's arms.

"I don't know!" sighed Joyce dramatically. "You were a naughty girl, maybe I should spank you."

"Ooh daddy," giggled Lorelai, "That would be fun," she said reaching behind her wife and pulling the zip of the blonde's dress down before helping it slip down her body.

"Maybe later," smiled Joyce stepping out of the dress pooled at her feet and pulling the unresisting Lorelai over to the bed as she began devouring her wife's mouth.

--------------

"So how are we going to get to the airport? Separate cars?" asked Lorelai as they exited the hotel.

"No, you follow me to the rental offices and then we can go in yours," suggested Joyce.

"That'll work. Of course when we come back we'll need to fly back to Boston and drive from there to Stars Hollow," Lorelai pointed out as she opened the back of her jeep and they stepped aside to allow the porter to place their cases inside.

"I think we could probably arrange for it to be shipped to Hartford and drive from there."

"Okay, works for me," smiled Lorelai giving Joyce a quick kiss before hurrying around to the driver's side.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Can My Life Get Any Weirder! 6/?

Rating: 12A/PG-13.

Summery: Meeting a friend and ally.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The flight from LAX to Sunnydale took less than an hour so they were exiting the gates a little after 1.30 PM PST. Joyce smiled as she saw her daughter's Watcher standing to one side as the other passengers passed him. "There's our ride," she indicated leading her wife over to the smiling man.

"I can see why you had wild sex with him," Lorelai laughed quietly as they approached the man. "Can we do it on a police car?" she whispered.

"No," hissed Joyce. "Rupert, thank you for doing this," she said by way of greeting standing in front of him and trying to wipe away the image her wife had planted in her head. 'No that would be wrong!'

"It's my pleasure, Joyce," replied Giles.

"Rupert, this is Lorelai. Lorelai, this is Rupert Giles, he's a friend of the family's," Joyce introduced the two of them.

"Pleased to meet you, Lorelai," smiled Giles extending his hand wondering why Joyce had failed to give her companion's last name.

Lorelai took the hand with a smile of her own, "Likewise, Rupert."

"Hmmm I wonder are you in a hurry to get back to the shop?" asked Joyce. "I think we need to explain some things first. Could we possibly go to the coffee shop?"

"Of course, Joyce," agreed Giles. "Please allow me," he said taking both women's bags and leading them towards the coffee shop.

"Ooh a gentleman," chuckled Lorelai mischief dancing in her eyes. "And a hunk."

"Behave Lorelai," said Joyce attempting to sound stern.

"Sorry daddy," Lorelai whispered into her wife's ear.

"And stop calling me that," hissed Joyce as they followed the Watcher.

Giles raised an eyebrow having heard the whispered end of the conversation between the two women. Placing the bags next to an empty table, he schooled his features while looking down at the two women as they both took a seat. "May I get both of you something to drink?"

"Thanks, coffee please," Lorelai smiled up at the man.

"Yes, make that two, please Rupert," agreed Joyce.

"Very well then," nodded Giles heading for the counter.

After watching the man walk away and join the short queue at the counter, Lorelai turned to her wife, "Are you sure you want to tell him first?" she asked.

Joyce nodded, "He's been a big influence in Buffy's life since we came to Sunnydale... Even more than I have..." she trailed off for a moment. "Nothing sexual, you understand, just a father figure. In fact, he's been the father figure to most of her friends. Most of their parents never seemed to be around that much. I mean, I've met my daughter's best friend, Willow's mother once in five years because she is always on tour doing lectures."

"And you accused me of babbling," laughed Lorelai as Giles turned from the counter and headed back.

"Maybe I shouldn't be around Willow so much myself," chuckled Joyce before becoming serious. "If we get him on our side it will be easier to persuade Buffy that this is what I want."

"Well you know them, I don't," nodded Lorelai as Giles drew close. "Ooh muffins," she smiled happily, as he placed the tray on the table.

"Yes well I've had my share of airline food," smiled Giles as he took a seat and handed the two women their beverages and a muffin each before going about making his own tea. "So might I be the first to congratulate you both," he said having spotted the identical wedding bands on their fingers, knowing that Joyce at least had stopped wearing her wedding ring shortly after arriving in Sunnydale.

Lorelai sprayed coffee across the table, luckily only hitting the empty chair opposite.

Joyce rubbed her wife's back gently as she looked at the Watcher, "How?" she asked.

"The rings," supplied Giles. "You haven't worn a wedding band in almost the entire time you have lived in Sunnydale. Moreover, as I know you have just come from Massachusetts, where I believe they legalised gay marriage some time ago plus your whispered conversation just now. It was not that great of a leap," he smiled.

Joyce studied her daughter's Watcher for a moment before nodding, "Yes, we're married. You're not repulsed by the idea?" she asked curiously.

Giles chuckled, "No. You're entitled to make your own decisions. I'm not sure Buffy will see it that way! As I understand it, she talked Willow into breaking into the airlines computer to check out who the man was you were bringing home. I imagine the fact that you did not bring a man with you, will have confused her somewhat," the smile on his face changing to a smirk. "Although I think under the circumstances, Willow will probably guess."

"What do you mean?" frowned Joyce.

"Willow and Tara are gay," answered Giles. "You didn't know?" he deduced.

Joyce shook her head, "I had no idea! How long have they been a couple?"

"Maybe the tumour screwed up your gaydar," chuckled Lorelai.

"Quite," smiled Giles at the brunette. "I'm not privy to the exact date but somewhere around the beginning of last year I believe."

Joyce nodded mutely before brightening, "Maybe it will be easier coming out to the kids after all!"

"Willow and Tara, yes. And I doubt Anya will think it at all strange," Giles laughed then, "As for Xander, being around four lesbians may very well make his brain shutdown," he said before sobering, "But Buffy will be a different story entirely."

"I guess," sighed Joyce.

"So, I assume you wish my help?" asked Giles taking a sip of his tea.

"If you feel you can. I... We," Joyce amended glancing at Lorelai, "Would be very grateful."

"But not that grateful," smirked Lorelai trying to lighten the mood.

"Well quite," laughed Giles. "But congratulations. I hope you will be very happy."

"Thank you, Rupert. And we are," smiled Joyce grabbing her wife's hand.

--------------

"I'll leave you two to settle in," said Giles as he placed the two cases just inside the Summers' house. "Buffy agreed, somewhat reluctantly, to help Anya at the shop while I was away collecting you. I'll return with her and the others when we close up."

"Rupert, you should have told me that Anya needed help. We would have arranged to get a cab from the airport," Joyce pointed out as she and Lorelai stood with Giles on the porch.

"I assure you Joyce, it was my pleasure. I ah sometimes find it hmmm refreshing to be away from Anya for a little while," he chuckled. "And under the circumstances, I think keeping Buffy busy at the shop while you both settle in is the best thing. Goodbye, Joyce, Lorelai, I'll see you around five thirty then. And try not to worry; I'm sure everything will work out."

"I hope so, Rupert," smiled Joyce weakly.

"Come on hon. lets get unpacked and then you can show me where everything is," said Lorelai taking her wife's hand and pulling her inside closing the door behind them.

They carried the suitcases up the stairs, Lorelai smirking as she followed behind watching her wife's hips sway as she led the way. "Well this will be our room," explained Joyce as she opened a door on her right and dropped her case inside the door.

"Nice. Much tidier than my bedroom back home," commented Lorelai placing her own case next to Joyce's as she looked around. "This room is so you," she added as she looked at the décor.

"And how can you tell that?" frowned Joyce sitting on the bed and removing her shoes and beginning to massage her feet.

"It feels warm... homey and... tidy," smiled Lorelai as she kicked her own shoes off and hurried over to her wife, "Let me," she offered placing Joyce's feet onto her lap and beginning to rub and manipulate them.

Joyce laid back and moaned softly as Lorelai attended to her aching feet, "Where did you get so good at foot massage?" she sighed.

"Rory and I used to do each others feet all the time until she moved into a dorm at Yale."

"Well when I finally meet my new stepdaughter, I must remember to thank her," smiled Joyce. "Now all we need to do is get you out of the bad habit of leaving your things untidy," she nodded to the two shoes in different areas of the bedroom.

"Sorry, daddy," smirked Lorelai as she lifted one of Joyce's feet and kissing the top, "Maybe you should spank me again."

"I didn't spank you last night," smirked Joyce.

"Oh daddy owes me a spanking," chuckled Lorelai as she began kissing her way up Joyce's leg.

"Why do you continue to call me that?" asked Joyce as she caressed Lorelai's head as the brunette got to the hem of her skirt.

"Not sure? I think I read it somewhere when I was younger. I think it was about a younger woman moving in with an older woman!"

"Oh so you use to fantasize about lesbians," smiled Joyce. "You know we need to stop and get ready for everyone, don't you?"

Lorelai sighed dramatically as she sat back up with a pout to rival any teenager. "Yeah."

"Oh behave," chuckled Joyce as she sat up next to her wife and took her hand, "We'll have plenty of time later."

"Promise?"

"My god. Did you ever get past your teen years," laughed Joyce as she got up and moved to grab her case and start unpacking.

"Not if you listen to anyone that knows me," giggled Lorelai following Joyce to her own case.

--------------

"Buffy. Why don't you sit down?" sighed Riley as he came up from the Magic Box cellar store with Xander. Anya had railroaded both men into carrying some heavy boxes up into the shop for her.

"How would you like it, if you found out your mother was having sex with another man?" snapped Buffy turning on her boyfriend.

"Not much," agreed Riley. "Dad wouldn't be too happy either."

"Buff, you don't know your mum's even with a man," Xander pointed out. "Willow hasn't found a man sitting anywhere near your mum on either the flight from Boston or LA."

Having reminded the Slayer that her best friend was still hacking into the airline computer she turned to the redhead. "What you got, Will?" she asked looking over the other woman's shoulder as she sat with Tara.

"No more than I did the last time I checked for you," sighed Willow glancing up at Buffy. "Only two other people were on both flights. A Lorelai Gilmore of Stars Hollow, Connecticut, and a Roger Hemmings of Boston."

"So tell me about this Roger Hemmings?" ordered Buffy sitting on the redhead's other side.

"Buffy," sighed Willow. "He's sixty nine."

"So not likely that mum's having sex with him. Hmmm she did say she wasn't having sex with a man! He would be a little old for it," mused Buffy.

"Can I just say eew," grimaced Willow. "But he was a dozen rows behind your mum's seat but this Lorelai Gilmore was seated next to her."

Tara looked thoughtful at that but remained quiet.

On the other hand, Anya was another matter, "Maybe your mother has become a lesbian like Willow and Tara. Maybe this Lorelai is her lover?"

"My mother is not a lesbian," cried Buffy. She blushed at her two gay friends sitting with her, "Ah nothing against you guys, you're different. I mean no way could mum be gay without me knowing about it? I mean mum and dad got divorced because he was having an affair with his secretary. I mean she went out with Ted, and then there was the thing with Giles. No way she's gay."

"Buffy, hate to point it out to you, but I used to date Oz and had that thing for Xander most of my life before I went to college," replied Willow gently taking her friend's hand.

"Yeah, I know but mum can't be gay. I'd know if she were!"

--------------

Giles being the wise man Buffy and her friends thought he was, did not return to the shop until closing time so that his Slayer could not interrogate him. He braced himself as he opened the door as all eyes fell on him, "I'm sorry I'm late but I had a meeting in regards to the creature Glory and it took longer than anticipated." In fact, it had only taken him a little over half an hour after dropping Joyce and Lorelai off to finish his meeting. The remainder of the afternoon had been spent at the Espresso Pump.

"So Giles," pressed Buffy approaching her Watcher. "What's he like. Is he evil?"

"I'm sorry. Evil?" Giles frowned.

"Giles. Don't be coy. Is the man that you picked up with mum from the airport, Evil. A demon I can slay?" a glint coming into her eyes as the image of beating and killing the man that had dared touch her mother came into her head.

"Buffy. Your mother was not with a man, or demon. She arrived with a woman called Lorelai Gilmore..."

"Told you," clapped Anya. "Your mother is gay."

"My mother is not gay. Tell her, Giles. Mum's not gay."

"I am not privy to what your mother has been doing while on holiday," answered Giles. More than one of the gang noticed that he did not answer Buffy's question. "I believe it is time to leave. Your mother and her guest are expecting us at your house shortly. So shall we?" he gestured towards the door behind him. "Xander can you give Buffy and Riley a lift in your car and I'll take Willow and Tara."

Xander exchanged a look with Willow. Realising that the Watcher was obviously trying to avoid any long confinement with his Slayer, nodded, "Yeah sure, Giles." He agreed as Anya began turning off the lights.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Can My Life Get Any Weirder! 7/?

Author: David A. Knapton

E-mail: Gilmoreslash and Twisting the Hellmouth. Others, if you want but it is polite to let the author know you are doing so

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to the owners of BtVS and Gilmore Girls.

Spoiler: Both shows up to and including season five of Buffy and four of GG.

Rating: 12A/PG-13

Pairing: Canon pairings for both shows except Joyce/Lorelai, and Buffy with Riley (at least at the beginning).

Summery: Meeting the family.

Notes: The fight described in this part is from Into the Woods but some dialogue has been changed to fit the storyline.

Thanks so much to my great beta Tamara.

'' Thought.

Feedback: If you wish.

Please note I am English, so is my spelling. Live with it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"They're here," exclaimed Joyce looking out the living room window wringing her hands.

"Just breathe hon. we can do this. Just remember Buffy loves you," Lorelai reminded her wife as she hugged and kissed the side of her neck.

"I don't know if I can do this Lorelai?" whimpered Joyce as she watched her daughter jump out of Xander's car and begin heading towards the door.

Lorelai stepped away from the other woman as the door opened, "Mum," called Buffy striding into the room. When her mother failed to respond, she stepped forward giving the strange woman a hard stare before turning back to her mother, "Mum, are you okay? You haven't got a headache have you?" she asked worry in her voice.

"N-no dear, no headache," Joyce smiled weakly.

"So what's wrong?" Buffy asked as the others began filing in.

"I need to explain some things to you and now you're here I don't know if I can?"

"Why don't we start with introductions," suggested Giles.

"Yes, Rupert," Joyce nodded her thanks. "Lorelai, this is my daughter, Buffy and her friends. Her boyfriend Riley," she indicated the tall man next to her daughter.

"A pleasure to meet you ma'am," greeted Riley extending his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Riley, and please call me Lorelai," smiled Lorelai shaking his hand.

"And this is Willow and Tara. They go to UC Sunnydale with Buffy. Willow, Tara, this is Lorelai."

Lorelai beamed at the redhead, "Joyce tells me you babble," she chuckled.

"I've been know to. Usually when I'm nervous or excited, Lorelai," smirked Willow beginning to like the brunette.

"Well maybe we can babble together later," smiled Lorelai. "Pleased to meet you Tara," she said offering her hand to the blonde.

"And-and you," replied Tara.

"And finally this is Xander and his fiancée Anya," gestured Joyce.

"Nice to meet you Lorelai," greeted Xander stepping forward.

"And nice to meet you too, Xander," Lorelai shook his hand and looked to Anya. "Congratulations on your engagement. Joyce and I talked about it on the way here and decided to pay for you to have the honeymoon suite at my Inn back in Connecticut for a week as a wedding present from both of us."

"Oh, so I was right, you are a lesbian couple just like Willow and Tara," nodded Anya a smug grin on her face as she accepted Lorelai's hand. "I can't think why any woman would give up a penis for a tongue and fingers. Unless of course you plan on using one of the many artificial penises on the market, I know several web sites that have inexpensive..."

"Anya baby, please stop now," cried Xander pulling his girlfriend away from Lorelai.

"I really must introduce you to my friend, Patty, when you come to Stars Hollow," laughed Lorelai.

"Mum, what's going on?" asked Buffy looking at her mother's blushing face. "I notice that you're not trying to deny being... like Willow and Tara."

"No dear," replied Joyce barely above a whisper not meeting her daughter's eyes.

"What the hell have you done to my mother," growled Buffy taking a step towards Lorelai, her fists clenched. The brunette took a step back at the look on the blonde's face.

"Buffy," shouted Giles sternly.

"What?" the Slayer turned on her Watcher. "This woman has obviously taken control of mum somehow."

"Buffy," sighed Giles stepping towards the blonde. "Lorelai has done nothing to force your mother into this situation. As hard as it may be for you to accept, your mother is in love with her of her own freewill. Now let's all sit down and allow them to tell us what they plan for their future. Calmly. As your mother's doctors told you both, she should not become stressed as she is still recovering from her operation."

Pouting and dropping onto the couch, her arms crossed, she stared up at her mother and Lorelai. "Well?" she asked tightly.

"Well dear," began Joyce, "Even though we only met a couple of days ago, and I know it sounds impossible, I love Lorelai deeper than I have loved anyone before. Lorelai feels the same, that's why... we got married."

"What?" shouted Buffy jumping up again. "You do know that she's a woman, right?"

"Buffy, gay marriage is legal in Massachusetts," explained Willow. She took Tara's hand, "Tar and I have talked about possibly going there to get married ourselves after college."

"Yeah but you're different, you're my best friend, mum is... my mum," lamely replied Buffy.

"Honey, you need to get past the idea that I've never had sex, it's rather childish," sighed Joyce.

"But you're my mum, you're too old to have sex," stammered Buffy pouting.

"Buffy dear, I had sex last night, just after our telephone conversation, and I fully expect to have sex tonight."

"Mum, stop talking about sex, you're wigging me out," cried Buffy.

Joyce gave her daughter an amused smile, "You brought it into the conversation," she pointed out. For some reason her daughter's frustrations was making it easier to talk. "Now I'll be honest with you. We both woke up in bed together yesterday morning with no memory of the previous evening or of getting married. We even talked about getting our marriage annulled but because of something that happened later, which to save your feelings Buffy, I won't go into detail about, but just to say that we realised we enjoyed each others company and want to make a go of our marriage."

"So where do you plan to live?" asked Willow.

"Well," edged Joyce, "Lorelai has only just fulfilled her dream of opening her own Inn and would be letting a lot of people down if she were to up and leave. So... I suggested that I move to Stars Hollow and open a gallery there."

"So you're leaving me just like dad," cried Buffy jumping up and running for the door.

"Buffy," yelled Joyce as the door slammed shut behind her daughter.

"Riley, Willow, Xander go after her, see if you can talk her into returning?" sighed Giles.

"On it," nodded Xander as he hurried out after the Slayer with the others.

Giles looked sadly at the quietly crying Joyce enveloped in Lorelai's arms. He glanced over at the equally sad Tara, "Maybe you could fix everyone some drinks?" he asked.

Tara just nodded and headed for the kitchen with Anya following, the former vengeance demon realising that Giles wished to be alone with the two older women.

Giles squatted down in front of Joyce and Lorelai after the brunette had guided the blonde to the empty couch. "Joyce, I'm so sorry things did not go as you hoped, but Buffy just needs time to come to terms with your relationship with Lorelai. I didn't know that Buffy still held such deep-seated resentment at what she sees as her father's abandonment of her when you came here. That abandonment has caused her to become very possessive of those she loves. I think the only thing you and Lorelai can do is show her that you really do love each other and that you will always be there for her. And you Lorelai, just be yourself so she can see you have no intention of hurting her mother. May I further suggest that you hold off on selling the house as long as you can and now that college is finished for the summer you take her with you to Stars Hollow to help facilitate your eventual move there?"

--------------

Buffy glanced around having no idea how she found herself in an alley between two warehouses, it was now dark, which meant she had been wandering in a daze for several hours. As she passed by a stack of pipes, two vampires stepped out from behind her and closed the distance between them.

The Slayer turned to confront them, "The pyro act on my place the other night was a bad idea Slayer," snarled the male. "Lost a lot of money."

"Felt good to me. Would have done it before if I'd known about your little money scheme earlier."

"You don't get it do you. By closing us down, we'll just have to find humans that don't pay for it. Every corpse is on your head," sneered the male vampire. "Unfortunately your not gonna be around, in fact you're not gonna make it through the night."

At his final words, six other vampires moved to surround the Slayer. Who just glanced at them before turning back to the leader, "Walk away," she said between clenched teeth. The leader took two steps towards her. "I'm serious. You don't what to do this. Not now."

The leader lunged at her. Buffy's hands shot out and he went flying backwards into the pipes. She back-fisted the vampire that came from her right and followed that with a kick to the face of one coming from the left. She turned quickly and hit one of those behind her with a right cross. As she turned back, she saw a vampire pick up a length of wood and attempt to swing it at her but she grabbed it with one hand and hit him in the face with the other forcing him to release it. Sensing the one coming up from behind, she rammed the end of the impromptu stake into its heart then turned back to club another to the ground. Clubbing a second one, she quickly reversed her actions to stake a second and clubbed yet a third.

As three other vampires came at her from the sides and rear, she expertly dusted them all. By now, the leader had regained his footing and dived at her but the Slayer thrust the end of the wood upwards turning him into dust on the wind. As the final female vampire moved towards her, Buffy placed the impromptu stake between them. The Slayer could see fear in its eyes. Although its features were distorted, it reminded her of the woman that had taken her mother from her, without further hesitation, she thrust the stake into its heart.

She remained staring at the swirling dust before the stake fell from her hand and she dropped to her knees crying next to it.

"So, how'd that work out for ya?" asked Xander stepping into the alley behind the Slayer. Buffy rose slowly and turned to stare at Xander. "Make you feel better? Wonder what Freud would say about that last vamp?" he smirked having noticed a passing resemblance to Lorelai.

"What are you doing here?" asked Buffy.

"Giles sent Riley, Willow and me to find you, figured we'd stand a better chance of finding you if we split up. I thought you might be ready to talk. Then I saw the skirmish happen. I was gonna lend a hand, but I noticed you grew a few extra ones."

"Go away, Xander," snapped Buffy angrily. She turned and started to stride away.

"Buffy," called Xander beginning to follow.

Buffy turned back, "I'm serious!"

"So am I. Something's up. You're acting like a crazy person. And not just 'cause your mum's found someone."

Buffy turned and began walking away again without replying. Xander followed closely behind. Buffy pushed aside a large metal door and entered one of the warehouses.

Xander entered behind her and closed the door. "Take this for instance. You don't wanna deal with your mum and Lorelai, so you hide? It's not very slayer-like," he pointed out.

"Just leave me alone, Xander. It's not just my mum and... and her situation! You have no idea what's going on."

"No?" snapped Xander. "Good, so besides your mum wanting to leave, you and Riley aren't on your way to imploding?" Buffy turned to him surprise on her face. "It doesn't take a genius. You expect everyone to leave you, your dad, and your friends back in LA, Angel... Faith." The Slayer's eyes widened. "Yeah I figured that out sometime ago," he gave her a crooked smile. "And now you figure your mum's abandoning you as well... Riley will probably follow soon after."

"Did he tell you he got a call from some super secret Initiative type unit, they want him back. Who told you about me and... Faith?"

"Nobody told me anything, Buffy. It was right in front of my Xander face. I doubt you told anyone. I know girls tell each other about their boyfriends and... girlfriends but I figure if you told anyone it would be Will and as she basically hates Faith with a vengeance to rival my hatred of Deadboy, no way would she have been able to keep quiet," he chuckled.

"It ended the night I put her in a coma and chose Angel over her," sighed Buffy looking into space.

"Why don't you go visit her in prison? Not to get back with her, 'cause hey she's in prison for life, but maybe you could make your peace with her?" asked Xander gently as he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Since when have you been the level headed one?" smirked Buffy. "Do I need to remind you of Cordelia, Miss French i.e. Preying Mantis woman and what you had Amy do to every female in Sunnydale including my mother?"

"Okay, okay. So I haven't always been the level headed one. And hey totally not fair bringing Miss French into it, I still maintain it was those pheromone things," smirked Xander. He sobered, "The thing is Buffy, none of us ever leave, even Cordy would be here if we needed her. We may change, grow, get married whatever, but we love each other, we will always be there for the others, we've been through too much together not to be. Your mum will be there for you as well. Besides, have you considered she'll be safer away from the Hellmouth? We can get Will to checkout the place she wants to move to, make sure it's a safe place, if not we can at least worn her so she's prepared."

"Okay, I'll think it over," Buffy nodded as they made their way out of the alley. "So how often did Faith and I feature in your fantasies?"

"Two or three times a night," smiled Xander. "My favourite involved you both with a couple of stakes. You're both laid on my bed in tight leather, when I walk in. You both look at me like you wanna eat me and begin crawling..."

"La, la, la, I'm not listening, la, la, la," cried Buffy putting her hands over her ears as they headed towards her house.

"So. Do you think you and Riley can get over this army thing?"

"Honestly," sighed Buffy becoming serious again, "I don't think so. His ego can't take the fact that he'll never be as strong or as fast as I am. I see it in his eyes sometimes, the resentment," she clarified. "And he knows that if he stays we'll drift apart or one of us will get killed. And long distant relationships never work for me."


End file.
